The question: I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 7 yrs now and the sex is as dry as the kalahari. Sex was great for the first 3 yrs but then it just disappeared. She doesn’t ever kiss me the way she used to or touch me in that way. I have to basically force myself onto her at night and that only happens once a year if I’m lucky. The rest of the time she pushes me away. Is she cheating on me? Does she not fancy me sexually anymore or is it that she just has no sex drive? Some people I speak to tell me she might be lesbian. All I really want is a healthy average sex life. I’m not getting younger and have needs. If she does not attend to them then what am I to do? I do look at other woman and often considering cheating but don’t want to hurt her.
Listen to the 5fm #thedotspot answer >>No sex
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this is by far my most regular question and, dependent on the various factors, are difficult to answer sometimes. i find it hard to condone a situation where a partner is demanding monogamy but not providing the intimacy and sex, a ‘don’t cheat, but i’m not having sex with you either’ scenario.
i’m also amazed at the mountains of excuses people will make to avoid breaking up with someone that is not suitable for them (any more). it’s sometimes easier to blame our partners for not putting out instead of taking responsibility for our own dissatisfaction and moving on, or facing the fact that they don’t find us attractive anymore, or that we don’t find them attractive anymore.
simpler to blame it on work, the kids, the family, money, expectations, misunderstandings…
playing the blame game prevents any real engagement with the choices you have made for yourself or the choices you can be making. no one needs to be a martyr.
on the other hand darren,, has mr man done anything to seduce his missus of late?
drawn her a nice bubble bath, bought her flowers, massages her feet?
has he romanced her, made her feel DESIREABLE?
when is the last time he told her how hot she looks in that particular nightie? that her boobs turn him on? that the sounds she makes when she comes, drives him nuts?
ahem, mething all we will hear is crickets…
dudes seem to think they are entitled to leg-over. and as the romance wears off, the lady doesnt feel desired anymore. and having a hardon spoking at you in the middle of the night, is about as appealing as a brazillian wax.
it sounds, too, that he discussed his woes with his mates, as opposed to his missus. has he even asked her why she isnt into nookie no more? asked her what her needs are. if HE is meeting HER needs sexually.
she could be bored with his same boring routine, and dont want to hurt his feelings by telling him she would rather fold laundry than have sex with him. so she avoids the subject alltogher.
maybe she is tired of trying to get him to be more romantic, and actually making her feel seduced and desired, and not just a vessel to receive his dick, that she could not actually be bothered.
January 26, 2012 at 12:32 pm