@queerZA, twitter home of AllThingsQueer.co.za and a really cool follow if you like to step outside of heteronormative brackets on a more than regular basis, posted a question the other day (couldn’t find it now though, they’re pretty prolific tweeters) about whether bisexuals ever find themselves the recipients of prejudice from gay and lesbian circles.
the response, from what i followed, was affirmative. at least my response was a resounding ‘yes’.
as a bicurious ‘straight’ (oh these labels, these labels) who happens to find herself rubbing shoulders with all sorts on the sexuality and gender spectrum, i’ve been privy to convos that make me both very optimistic and then very angry.
with regards to optimism, you can place the idea of more people feeling comfortable in their skins and in their gender and how the system is changing to accommodate and acknowledge everyone of different orientations.
however, that is not what this postsecret or this blog post is about.
it’s about the curious and hypocritical responses that i see as much from ‘hetero’ circles as i do from ‘homo’ circles.
The misogyny so glibly expressed by some gay men is appalling and dangerous
it’s taken me a long time to formulate a response to queers who identify as 100% lesbian or 100% gay and separate by othering everyone else who is not 100% either as straights who are either boring and inhibited or confused about their sexuality (heard of gify? ‘oh him? he’s totally gify.’ gay in five years…) or if bi(curious or sexual) as weaklings or freaks who have neither pledged allegiance to the rainbow flag due to confusion or ignorance or both, or irritating lipstick lesbians who are sneerworthy and not to be touched with a barge pole.
i say it’s taken me a long time to formulate a response, when what i mean is, i’ve still not managed to do so.
mostly i am always surprised and a little saddened that many in this group, that has had to fight so hard against prejudice and labelling, finds comfort in applying the same narrow-minded prejudices levelled against it.
Queer does not equal open-minded and straight does not equal inhibited
the misogyny so glibly expressed by some gay men is appalling and dangerous. the closed circle of bitchiness that is evident between some groups of ‘scissor sisters’ is childish and hurtful. the formula of ‘you are either (one of) with us or against us’ is painfully evident, unhelpful and backwards. and that’s not even touching on transphobia and race and economic prejudices in these circles.
i understand grouping as a necessary process, but i do not think actively supporting othering is helpful. queer does not equal open-minded and straight does not equal inhibited.