Otherwise titled: A Meepish, Boring Post About Why Next Week Is Going To Be Awesome Simply For Not Being This Past Week.
i don’t care if this title and post is not SEO compatible with a million hits. this past week has sucked and you should know that. it’s sucked because i’ve said yes to doing something i’ve started to hate. it sucked because i learnt what lying, cuntish douchebags some ‘top bloggers’ are (or let’s just say, it was confirmed). it’s sucked because it’s been cold and the cold got into my head and made me ill. it sucked because i got my period and i got all weep-like and psycho at the same time. it sucked because i had a one night stand last week without protection that had me freaking about stds the whole fucking week. it sucked because i had dinner with Master D and m that made me upset and uncomfortable and call off all play. it sucked because every plan i made was unmade. it sucked because it just sucked. because i have so much on my list of Things to Do and all i really want to do is lie on the cushions in front of a fire, naked and warm with someone yummy and dissolve into feeling. possibly just rahasya because i don’t need words in his space. it sucked because it dawned on me this week that i might not know how to fuck normally anymore. it sucked because i realised the last truly awesome actual, connecting sex i had was over a year ago with mr hardman (a truly, TRULY depressing thought). it sucked because i’m intensely disapproving of winter and being freezing. it sucked because of people who blow hot and cold; because of crossing limits i don’t understand with people i barely know. it sucked because i’m still trying for connection with the VUP. which sucks because it’s so ultimately pointless. it sucked because validation still makes me happy and feel more secure. it sucked because i don’t know when to shut my mouth. or open it. it sucked because i just want to find a reset button without losing everything i’ve gained. it sucked because the whole week felt like i was grasping at straws and drowning in the process.
you know what i’ve learnt this past week? that some information is better than nothing, but sometimes nothing is best.