look.
it’s a pretty arbitrary post, but i’d been thinking of putting face to name since i read 50 shades and then yesterday vanessa raphaely of The House of Raphaely and brain behind one of my absolute most-guilty pleasure blogs HurricaneVanessa.com (though, truth be told, i’m far happier to enjoy it now that she’s stepped down as editor of cosmo and her quips at other magazines and their styling doesn’t seem so eyebrow-raising in their irony), funneled another fabulous piece from the interwebs – A TOP FORENSIC ARTIST HAS DRAWN 50 SHADES OF GREY’S CHRISTIAN GREY (i copied and pasted that and can’t be bothered to retype to remove the cap formatting)…
shoo. that was mouthful.
so i won’t give you all the schpeel, but there’s something something ‘Dr Skelton used the descriptions of 12 women given to a radio station to create the composite’ something something yadda yadda … anyway, here’s what they came up with.
howdy pardner
i saw this and was, like, bitch please. MY christian, while not in keeping with His Gingerness of Armani as described by EL James, is way fucking hotter (holy cow, bites lip…)
ben barnes as dorian gray (dark, dangerous, rich, beautiful … not only a namesake) was my vision of christian grey. now, ben barnes i would fuck in a heartbeat. whether he would fuck me, however, is debatable, as i’m sure he only consummates his magnificence with angels.
seeing his face as christian grey made all the head cocking and scowling very palatable. and those piano scenes … yes.
here’s another one in case you didn’t catch that the first time…
you’re welcome.
ok, so next up. anastasia steele. well see, again, i made a name connect. there’s a journo named samantha steele who currently writes for marie claire SA and is just delightful. she’s blonde and has far more character than dear brunette disney-cum-porn starlett anastasia steele. apart from the fact that she also speaks english, i’m not sure there’s anything but their name joining them in my brain. it’s a mystery. nevertheless, she is who i pictured. here she is:
pro for you sam: you fucked ben barnes in my head; con: you fucked ben barnes in my head. (don’t worry, i skimmed over a lot of the same-same sex scenes and didn’t wank. promise.)
the other ‘characters’ were all a little faceless, except for the bodyguard dude who seems to shadow both anastasia and christian. i saw him as the creepy guy from game of thrones that never smiles…
your car, madame
so there you go. a random post that’s been in my head ever since i started flipping through that tome of literary excellence on kink, 50 shades.
I’m confident that Ben would have his wicked way with you repeatedly, vigorously and with much enthusiasm.
possibly using props, and occasionally, scented lubricants. I’m sure the occasional brisk spank would occur too.
and if he doesn’t, then his taste in wimmins needs to be questioned.
July 10, 2012 at 10:27 am
Hahahaha I know I should find this disconcerting, but I am immensely flattered. And let me say my breasts ARE that magnificent in real life ;)
And I totally agree with Sparky.
xx
July 10, 2012 at 11:55 am
see?
motion seconded and carried.
you have no choice, Dot. you’ll simply have to submit to ravishment by Ben.
you poor, poor girl
July 10, 2012 at 12:04 pm
oh if i must. he’s a little young-looking (though 30 i think…)
July 11, 2012 at 1:06 am
you’re forgetting a very important phrase:
“The vigor of youth”
enough said
July 11, 2012 at 9:34 am
they are! (and i wouldn’t agree too much with sparks, next minute you’re calling in restraining orders and worrying about bunny rabbits…)
July 11, 2012 at 1:07 am
hush, woman.
you’re totally messing up my game! *grumbles*
July 11, 2012 at 9:32 am
Rumour has it that Ian Somerhalder wants to be Dorian Grey. He is kinda pretty too. =\
July 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm
dammit. i meant Christian Grey!
July 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm
hahahaha thought so. have you watched dorian gray? pretty cool…
July 11, 2012 at 1:05 am
I think someone like Samantha would be so awesome! And not Scarlett Johanson like the talking about!!
Ana needs a bit more backbone – maybe her inner goddess should make more of an appearance!
July 11, 2012 at 10:02 am
well i hope neither actually, as anastasia is actually brunette and a bit mousy. of which neither sam nor scarlet can claim identity
July 11, 2012 at 10:40 am