I got an email from Allison, one of the designers who create those cool infographics that float about the web, after she read the Ask Dot :: He is cheating post. I find the header a bit misleading, as I think ‘cheating’ chiefly refers to adultery, while this is largely about lying (and how ‘cheaters’ grow up, i suppose…).
between you and me, i used to lie a lot as a child. considering some of the situations i got myself into, it was probably the smartest thing i could’ve done. as i got older, though, it seemed less … less viable, i suppose. weighing up long-term risk and reward, i started finding honesty really was the best policy, especially when it came to trying to trust someone.
one thing it did teach me was to spot a lie from a million yards. maybe it’s made me too hypersensitive. i met someone who told me ‘all men lie’. i love super generalisations like this. when we feel uncomfortable about our own reality we paint the world with our colour. ‘Everyone’s really a racist at heart’, ‘No one likes brussel sprouts’.
here’s the infographic – and i really do love the graphics on this one…
BROUGHT TO YOU BY ONLINE COLLEGES
Online Colleges [clickety click]
cool ne?
scribe told me this the other day (she’d heard it from someone who heard it somewhere): If you want to know if something is a problem, ask yourself: If the truth comes out about this, is it going to be a problem? ‘This’ could be your truth about whether you hate your job so much it’s killing you, or you actually can’t tolerate a ‘friend’ you keep giving happy face to … or the truth about how you actually feel in a relationship.
If you want to know if something is a problem, ask yourself: If the truth comes out about this, is it going to be a problem?
the one most consistent question i get from people is: how do i ‘spice’ up my love life or sex life. and the shortest, only answer i can ever give is: be honest about how you’re feeling.
being honest with yourself and others doesn’t mean you have to be a dick. and learning to be honest to yourself first if you’re used to living in la-la land is pretty hardcore, it’s been one of the toughest things i’ve ever had to learn to do.
anyhoo.
oao my sweet plums,
i think balance has been restored in the force.
(oh someone asked me what ‘oao’ is > ‘Over And Out’)
Living radically honestly takes courage, and the ability to be open and vulnerable. This is a strength and not a weakness. The more you tell the truth the more truthful people begin to come into your life’s sphere. Therefore you begin to trust more, the pay off is bigger than I can begin to explain…
August 3, 2012 at 9:19 am
ah well now, RADICAL honesty…i don’t know about that one… but all the rest i agree wholeheartedly with x
August 3, 2012 at 9:45 am
the Force is strong with you :)
August 3, 2012 at 9:25 am
hehehehe
August 3, 2012 at 9:45 am
Thought-provoking. Since so many liars were questioned, how can they be so confident in their evidence? I don’t trust it for a second. Lies. All lies. And a whole lot of assumption.
Personally, I think that lies are necessary sometimes. But also agree in theory that honesty is the best policy (I say ‘in theory’ because I lie to ‘protect myself’ from various scary things, whether real or imagined, and I know that’s something I need to work on).
Bottom line: There’s no formula to any of this, but it’s quite admirable and ambitious* that someone tried to calculate it.
*Though maybe a little bit silly.
August 3, 2012 at 10:51 am
people are very willing to be truthful if they can do it anonymously. lying, i suppose, is one way of mitigating shame or avoiding it, but i like to imagine that most people really want to be seen and be accepted for who they are sans lies – hence the success of postsecret and brene brown’s TED talks on shame and vulnerability
August 3, 2012 at 11:30 am
the illustration style on those infographics is beautiful
I really wish I had time to work on illustration more. I miss how fulfilling a completed illustration felt.
August 3, 2012 at 11:39 am
Pretty picture, two face people everywhere!
Personal lies can sometimes be so perception based though. My truth is your Lies, kind of deal.
Unless you dealing in hard facts where truth has already been defined with evidence to back it up.
So I guess telling someone a truth that isnt actually true is a lie?
How about misinterpretation of the facts to end up with a truth that isnt …true
This is giving me a headache.
I always ask myself “what do they gain by lying to you?”
And
Telling a person an absolute truth 9/10 times results in the person choosing to believe thier own version of it anyway
August 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm
great read.!
November 30, 2012 at 10:48 pm