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Been dating my gf for a couple of years now. We had our ups an downs but we started speaking about getting married so i bought the ring. Then she goes away with her “friends” for a weekend, gets back and asks for space. I’m now single. she messages me all the time telling me she misses me and loves me. Now pictures have been surfacing on FB of another guy. It turns out that all the weekends she has been ‘going away with her friends’ she has been going to see this guy.

I’ve taken a long hard look at the relationship and have realised that she is not the only one to blame, i also fucked up. But today after seeing more pictures of her an this guy i deleted her from FB. she phoned me instantly asking why i did this, so i tell her that i see other people make her happier than i can and i think its best if we move on and get on with our lives.

I don’t feel this way though i want her back badly im just trying to play it cool so that i can get my life back in track as i have let alot of things slip. How do i go about getting her back is there any advice you can give me especially now that she has a new BF??

do i fight for her? how do i get her back?

how do you get her back??? DUDE WAS CHEATING AND LYING TO YOU AND IS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. you should be deleting her off every social media platform, focusing on yourself and staying the fuck away from her.

and what the hell is she calling you all the time for and asking you why you’re deleting her off FB? is she crazy? are you?? cut that shit right out of your life right now and start healing. stop giving time, love and energy to someone who disrespects you like this. ffs. pick up your balls and self-respect and move on.

You right. i’m being a baby!!!! She doesn’t know i know about all her cheating and lies, she thinks i’m giving her her space. She once threw my best friend and this girl i know out my house cause she thought they were having a fling and he is married. She has always been stead fast about cheaters and lyers. Should i tell her i know about everything???

OF COURSE! what the FUCK man. now go. go and get some honesty and get the full story and lay it all out on the table and then move the on. it sucks and i know you’re going to miss her and feel sad, but your response isn’t exactly appropriate. an appropriate response to being lied to and cheated on and disrespected is usually some anger. try that out for a bit.

Ok fine but here is the catch. i’m opening up a car business with her uncle and i need his money. he’s a pretty solid business dude so i’m sure he will honour our deal, but i’m scared she might influence him against this? they’re a pretty tight family.

So basically you just going to keep pretending and not get proper angry to manipulate her favour long enough to secure her family’s financing? Well. Whatevs. It’s your drama, play it out any way you like. But I’d cut her the fuck off. And if her uncle doesn’t like that you”re not making his cuckolding niece happy then you might have to consider being fully independent. Respect yourself man.

So after sitting and thinking this over i have decided 2 things.
1- That i’m cutting her out of my life completely and i’m never going to talk to her again as hard as that may be. The fact that she can do the things she did without a moments thought has shocked me completely but made realise exactly what type of person she is.
2- I’m not gonna give her the statisfaction of knowing i know about her fucking around, not because i need the family’s money but for the sole reason that this will all bite her in the ass one day.
Thanks for your words/help Dot they have really helped. You’re a legend!!

i know

This morning: Had my first full night’s sleep in weeks, was great!!

Well done you

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you know. i feel like this is going to go balls up. i’m posting this convo for one reason only. if you find yourself in a similar position where you know you’re being lied to and cheated on it’s really rather best to speak to your partner using your words like an adult.

…a little full frontal emotional honesty with yourself and partner – try it out for size. there are lots of times when you don’t have to bare your soul and every fleeting thought to the person you’re in a relationship with. but cheating or being cheated on is not one of those times.

infidelity is a symptom of something rotting or rotten in the relationship or in character – either way, it’s best dealt with face to face.