Been wondering, i just started seeing a new guy now , we had sex for the first time, he is really really huge …im 24 years old and had a few well endowed partner before … but this one takes the cake… at first it felt like i was losing my virginity all over again second time round felt much better … now i was wondering do women stretch ? im just worried what if things between us dont last , will i ever enjoy sex again with a guy with a small penis? lol this may be kinda silly of me but im curious as to what your knowledge on this is?
Tunnel of Love

***

Dear ToL

The vaginal canal is one impressive muscle and, like all muscles, can be stretched, but also toned and strengthened. which is why women who’ve pushed babies out of their vaginas, can continue having happy sex with the comparatively small penis. this is true especially if they’ve kept up their pelvic floor muscle and kegel exercises. so i suggest that you keep doing your kegels and maybe invest in a smart balls (advice i’d give any woman really, because stronger muscles make for stronger orgasms) and rest your mind that your lady bits will bounce right back after mr big. in the meantime, use lots of lube and go slow, you certainly don’t want to be tearing anything with a monster cock that will leave scars long after a broken heart. i think the only thing you really need to worry about is not judging your next penis too harshly in comparison. personally, i find exceptionally large peni a bit of a bother and very troublesome blowing. so good luck there.

stroking the pussy, paddling the pink canoe, flicking the bean and my new favourite RUBBING ONE OUT! hahahahaha… thanks KO…

while you’re here, you may as well go check out ForTheGirls.com [clickety click]

ok, so there were a few images i could’ve touched on.

anyway. point is.

it’s getting trickier to right about what’s going on in my life. too many of the people i want to write about read my blog. i find it hard to write honestly about people when i feel i’m being watched by them. when i feel i might be called to account for something i said on this little screen that feels so private when i’m tick-tick-ticking out these words in this strange, public journal.

there are feelings involved and when you’re actually trying to form relationships outside of a binary environment the crossover becomes more and more blurred. i suspect that’s why novelists fashion their lives through fiction.

any resemblance to characters living or dead is purely coincidental etc etc…

lately: marathon man, the comic, the VUP, Master D, the IT guy … even Mr Hardman.

at least i still have my private journal. hand written. no binary there. and no one gets to read it but me. i’ve been journaling since i was 11. at least i’ll have enough characters to make a good book one day ne?.

god why i am still awake.

fuck.

now, please plums. let me not have to roll my eyes at another ‘ohemgee-what-did-i-doooo’ email. i feel that every now and then i need to remind you that it’s not called ‘NSFW’ for nothing. there’s no gallery this time cos there weren’t that many pics i liked. so the listed the pics are IN YOUR FACE and NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK.

we clear? good.

i love love love her smile in this pic

love how casual this is

as it so happens wrote a column the other day on hand fucking girls [clickety click]. did find eclecticaErotica.com though, so that was a win. will be featuring my selection from their site next month.

happy monday loving, plums
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xx

check the other postsecrets here [clickety click]

mother, mother [clickety click]

he kept referring to the fact that he had somehow, somewhere, stopped living his truth; that in trying to people please and distract himself from his otherness and fit in he’d lost his own voice. or at least lost track of it in the din of everybody else’s noise.

the opposite of truth is not a lie, it is denial

listening to him talk about truth and truthfulness to self, it occurred to me that the opposite of truth is not a lie, it is denial. you can lie without ever uttering an untruth.

denial of self, of realities, of your humanness, your strengths and weaknesses, pain and happiness, denial of what you do or don’t need or want, denial of situations, denial of what and who you truly are and who you truly love and respect (or don’t) …

it is the worst kind of lie because it is often couched in that most socially and morally noble of fallacies: doing the right thing.

in the long term, these small or big denials to self are corrosive to the spirit and the body. i should know, i did it long enough. thank little baby cupid for morla.

(double points for getting this reference)

woman laughing with salad? it's not the salad.

First impressions

Bswish makes very sexy toys and my first impressions are always positive, and it was no different with the Bnaughty Unleashed. To be honest, though, I’d never really seen the point of an insertable vibrating egg, as the actual vibe action for me is all about the clitoral area and I am always sceptical about partner toys. But the Bnaughty Unleashed surprised me in ways I didn’t expect.

What it is

The Bnaughty Unleashed is a vibrating bullet-shaped egg which is controlled by a cordless remote that can be manipulated by either yourself or your partner. FYI, an ‘egg’ is an ovoid or bullet-shaped insertable sex toy that may or may not vibrate. Those that don’t vibrate are generally used to strengthen the vaginal muscles, such as the vaginal balls I reviewed recently.

How it works

You pop the egg into your vagina, placing the little string between your lips and positioning it as close to your clit as possible and hand over the remote to your partner. Then, with him controlling when and how your fancy tickles, you jump into the car and go out for the night … or go to a polite dinner at your folks, depending on what a kinky bunny you are.

Of course, you can use it as a normal clit stimulator during solo play or partner sex, just don’t put it up your bum because it doesn’t have a flared base.

What it does

The Bnaughty Unleashed has 10 settings that range from the usual variety of vibes, from basic to ramp to pulse.

What I thought of it

The happy
I’m not going to mince my words here. I love it. As far as partner play toys go, it’s the fucking bomb. First off, it immediately puts you and your dude in a very different space to everyone around you. It’s like a private joke that is also incredibly sexy because no one else feels gets it.

For example, at one point our waitress mistook my sudden giggle and far away stare as being awkward about waiting for the credit card machine to do its thing. But man friend had simply changed the settings.

Because you get used to that lovely buzz and it gets your bits ready to roar, it’s like someone taking your candy away when it suddenly stops making the happy.

Which brings me to the next point of yummy. It’s oddly Dommie in a way (as in ‘Dominant’) because your experience is totally at the mercy of the person holding the remote – which setting it’s on, when the vibe changes and, *wince*, when it stops. Because you get used to that lovely buzz and it gets your bits ready to roar, it’s like someone taking your candy away when it suddenly stops making the happy.

And if you’re not in the mood when you insert this Bnaughty Unleashed, you certainly will be very soon after. It’s practically science that with that much continual stimulation in and around your vagina and clitoral area it can’t help but respond. Just don’t forget to use lube.

As for the actual buzz, the connection is strong and I was able to walk around an entire restaurant without it losing connection (though, I also suspect that once it starts, it’ll simply continue on whatever setting it’s one regardless of proximity). I also like the actual remote, which is understated and easily mistaken for an MP3 player. The large display offers a digital pattern of the setting it’s on (handy for the remote holder) and two push button controls – a function and a power button – which means it’s easy to switch off quickly if needs be.

The egg itself is hard ABS plastic with that matt smooth finish I like and it’s super easy to clean, despite the seam and the wiry removal tag. Oh and it’s also waterproof. Which is good, considering that your panties are certainly not going to be dry after a session with this little egg.

The not happy
The cons on this are very few. The battery power is a pain, as it only lasts approximately three hours and the batteries themselves aren’t very common (and the remote and egg take two different kinds). Fortunately, batteries are included in the pack, so your first ride is sorted.

And that’s really it actually. I could say I found the tag a bit hard and uncomfortable at first or that the different vibe settings seem to merge into a singular pattern if you’re too far from your guy and the remote, but these points would all be a bit by-the-by.

Should you run out and buy it

With a dollop of lube, fresh batteries and a naughty night out, this is as much sex as you and your man can have in public without getting arrested. If you’re looking to spice up your naughty time, I suggest you be ordering this little honey asap.

Click the box below and use the ‘dotspot’ code for a 5% discount on this product through Whet Sensuality Emporium.

Find the Bnaughty Unleashed at Whet Sensuality Emporium [clickety click]
All lube supplied by Assegai [clickety click]

This review first appeared on Women24.com.

now imagine he played the trumpet. skillz.

There is a reason girls like musicians. I knew why in practice, but not in theory until very recently. The Don and I were having a heart-to-heart about the fine art of hand jobs and he explained to me that musicians are so good with their hands because they need to learn how to multitask them with everything else.

‘You know,’ he said, wiggling his fingers for effect, ‘strum a guitar, sing a song, tap your feet … you have to train your brain to do things with different things – all at the same time. Takes skillz.’

True that. Men tend to forget that there is a whole rest of body when they’re doing that incredibly single-minded focus thing they do: now I am kissing the mouth, now I am touching the boobs, now my fingers are in the pussy, now I am eating the pussy.

So back to those skillz.

I once dated a trumpeter with some wicked lip and finger action. Turns out a lot of other girls were getting the same action, but how can I blame him spreading the love around? A man who knows how to get a woman off with his fingers alone is a rare man indeed.

I could sing my own version of Katy Perry’s ‘Kissed a Girl’, but along the lines of ‘I fingered a girl and found it was very difficult to do’. Not as catchy, but more educational.

Because it’s not very easy to do. In fact, I have a lot of sympathy for men who have not mastered the five-finger tickle. I could sing my own version of Katy Perry’s ‘Kissed a Girl’, but along the lines of ‘I fingered a girl and found it was very difficult to do’. Not as catchy, but more educational. Which would be perfect because, I believe, this shit needs to be addressed.

Case in point. Some dudes over in Twitterland informed me about the word ‘gutting’, with the definition being: ‘When you finger a chick like a savage, similar to gutting a fish.’

Doesn’t that make your vagina cringe? And yet, who can blame them, when from the age of 13 they’ve been staring wide-eyed at Americano porn of boobed plastic figurines spread-eagled, furiously frigging away at their poor clits and jack-hammering foreign objects at speed up their fannies.

If your man’s doing this to your body he needs to be lovingly re-educated Mao-style.

Though, to be fair, I can’t really come down too hard on the boys. I’m not very confident in my penis wank jobs either, or at least taking them to their happy conclusion. Unless I get the rest of my body or mouth involved or start making ‘hmm yeah baby’ sex sounds, I get a little unsure with the one-sided fap fap. Especially if there’s no lube.

A good hand job is about the whole body. It’s no fun if you’re on automatic or sporting all the finesse of a drunk grizzly.

I guess there’s the, eh, rub. Successful hand fucking is much the same as actual fucking. A good hand job is about the whole body. It’s no fun if you’re on automatic or sporting all the finesse of a drunk grizzly. And that initial hand-to-crotch exploratory introduction is all about first impressions isn’t it?

There is nothing more-ish about your lady bits being suddenly attacked by claws (remember boys, wash your hands and clip your nails before dipping those paws into the honey jar), your clit sporting friction burn or having a finger or five trying to ram the Great Gates of Cervix – that hand job where you just want to push the offending foreign object out of you, shouting ‘Slow down there Yogi!’. That said, there’s nothing knee-buckling about a vagina-shy guy either.

You can’t really be bitching about a guy’s hand skillz if you don’t know how to tickle your own fancy.

No. My fave is a dude who knows the value of pressure and a gentle lippy pinch ’n’ squeeze, who knows you don’t have to fist to fill, who knows the clit bean is more stroke than poke, and knows never, ever to change rhythm when you’re about to come. Hand banging and ‘gutting’ might ensue from there, but rarely before. At least for most of the women I’ve spoken to.

Still, saying all of that, girls who don’t know how to wank themselves could take a lesson from guys. They’ve been jerking off since the womb and know exactly what works and doesn’t work for them. You can’t really be bitching about a guy’s hand skillz if you don’t know how to tickle your own fancy. N’est-ce pas?

This article first appeared on Women24.com [clickety click]

but getting good pics has been tricky as the most i could generally find were bad-quality screenshots from cheap japanese porn.

oo oo ee ee oo ee oo ee

i had my first memorable orgasm when i was sleeping on a mattress we’d had to put on the floor because a friend of mine and i had broken one of the slats of my wooden bed.

i woke up with the mattress between my legs, one leg on and one leg off, humping the edge in a dream and shocked to wakefulness by a powerful sensation of OMG rippling through my body, making every muscle contract.

i was 10 and it was good and i wanted more. since then i’ve wanked just about everywhere and using just about anything. hand and finger and toy wanks are all good, but never underestimate the power of a good hump to make a vagina happy.

pillow humping is by far one of the most popular techniques used by the ladies

don't underestimate table corners. or basin corners. or any hard edge really.

while not strictly a hand hump, it is delightful and approximate enough. and i like the dressing up bit.

and that’s it. sadly. i couldn’t find any pics of humping i actually liked. and sorry plummettes – the pickings of man humping were even slimmer. but here’s a very lovely pic that made me happy in an artsy and naughty way.

afternoon delight

i wrote a column for women24 on masturbation and some how-tos. check it out [clickety click].

someone suggested that i invite you lovelies to send in your masturbation pics to post on this here site. i’m hesitant, considering what i’ve been sent in the past, and honestly i’m not convinced ya’ll be youporn enough. still – if you’re so inclined and it’s lovely enough i’ll consider posting.

love love
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